The Two of Them
NtR Pt. 1 - a Sestina
I’ve listed my head, listening for N’s music so fleeting,
Pulled along by invisible wires, he barely had time to glance
towards me, and I put him off with a grinning facade.
Masked under black, false in it’s depth, hoping disillusions
Haunt the edges of my vision, fallen eyelashes.
And here I am again, warped in my own chromatic, albeit erratic insomnia.
Outlined against my bed, I sleep six feet above my insomnia,
Waking to an obscure text from an old Friend, delayed but fleeting
In his openness- he couldn’t see the selfish wish on my eyelashes.
A plea for company, beside silver screens, I sleep, casting a glance,
fainting under another voice’s spell, my own disillusions
validating, trusting that his face will fall, a false but still sincere facade.
I wake, with the same masked face attached, my own facade
Plastered, process hastented with simple catch and seek, encouraged insomnia-
I dove deep into surfaced tension, and I slip past last night’s disillusions.
Here, at the same hallway, neck craning for his lackluster, same, shock feeling fleeting-
I walk the day and turn my thoughts, the corner- I miss N’s glance!
I now spit on those stolen wishes, fallen from the tips of my eyes, eyelashes.
The night that day, I oiled the rims of my eyes with diluted effusive eyelashes.
Between my reflection and his indentation, my Friend’s only facade
Were his shorter words to my long-strung winded phrases, at a glance
he could’ve tempted my- attempted to stop my insomnia.
And still I insist on being hard to capture, intelligible, fleeting-
And I still palpitate for whatever reactions, replies in asterisks- disillusions.
Once again I convince myself that the whites of his eyes were for me... disillusions.
What has N missed?! No- I’ve ensnared him, with demure and marked eyelashes-
Seldom have I ever clutched a pulse racing, but past the point, fleeting-
Now I wonder if he’s anything more, sleight of eyes, someone else- facade
I tangle threadbare sheets about my legs, roiling for sleep, insomnia
Filled with one-sided breaks in gaze, I fell for his glance...
Yes! A glance! I had wished for it with stolen eyelashes!
My disillusions carried into waking dreams of insomnia...
When I thought I had someone fleeting to lower my facade.